Man-up Monday: Shining Light on Jaylen James

I am pleased to support Carolyn James by shining light on her son, Jaylen, who she considers a ‘good’ man.

Carolyn writes:

My 'Man -Up' Monday goes to my 18yr old son, Jaylen James. Last Monday, his peers broke into his home and stole his computers, TV's, his clothing and shoes. His dwellings appeared as though a Tornado had struck twice in the same house-Total chaos. He was so hurt, as these were his peers. It took us 2 days to create order from the chaos. The first night we prayed the Word of God together for the salvation of the perpetrators. Day 2, my son was still in a state of shock & He was angry. So I asked him to lay down his will and fight like a Child of God who's aware of his inheritance; he reluctantly agreed with tears in his eyes & we prayed again. The next day the boys confessed & apologized. Now, I dare not say all of this occurred because of 'our' prayer alone-Saints of God were praying for us as well. I requested help from them last week. I'm so grateful...my son could have been at home during the invasion. I would like to THANK JAYLEN JAMES for not attempting to retaliate in his flesh, but fought like a Man of God-Through Prayer!


Shouts to Jaylen! So many young men do retaliate in the flesh—violence often begets more violence. We are so happy you thought about your actions and remembered your mother’s teachings. We wish more young men were like you!

I invite readers to submit a “Man-up Mondays” posting by sharing how the man in your life (significant other, father, brother, friend, co-worker…) is manning-up. Email your “Man-up Mondays” entry of 500 words or less to info@drbisa.com. Attaching his photo to the email is optional. You do NOT have to mention his full name. His first name or an alias is fine and understood.

Maybe these postings will cause men who are slackers to man-up, so women won’t have to.


I’M JUST SAYIN’!

OH MY VLOG: Finding Balance by Compartmentalizing

Check out my second vlog post, “Compartmentalizing: Finding Balance”. Please keep in mind that this is how I personally balance all MY life’s activities. A different process may work better for you. At this point in my life, I am extremely comfortable with my schedule. But, who knows, maybe one day I will need to change. I love this season in my life! While I hope at least one of my ideas is helpful, you will have to decide how to personally manage your own life.

As a new, amateur vlogger, I agreed to share my process, as I attempt to improve my vlogging skills. This way, entrepreneurs and aspiring vloggers can see the true process of starting a new venture. Many professionals and small business owners hide processes when working to improve products and services. I hope that showing the good, bad and ugly will be a realistic, relatable learning experience for viewers and entrepreneurs.

After watching my initial post, “Introducing OH MY VLOG”, my business manager advised me to sit my laptop on books, so I would not have to look down at the camera. That was a great suggestion! Also, one of my Facebook followers shared that the lighting may be the cause of the grainy appearance of the first video. Thanks for your constructive advice!

This vlog entry is a little better than the first, but I still have some improvement to do. I am a self-directed learner, so don’t judge me.


I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Introducing “OH MY VLOG!” by Dr. Bisa

Last night, or should I say at 1:00 this morning, I completed the intro video for my new vlog, “OH MY VLOG”. I was playing around with video software (Windows Live) to get the new vlog up and running. This is the first video, which looks a little grainy. So, if you know how to remedy that, help a sista out. One of my Facebook friends shared that it may be lighting.

I decided to keep this first entry, so entrepreneurs and aspiring vloggers can see the true process of starting a new venture. Many professionals and small business owners hide processes when working to improve products and services. I feel that showing the good, bad and ugly will be a realistic, relatable learning experience for viewers and entrepreneurs.

I am so excited about this venture! As the project progresses, I hope others are inspired to follow their interests and desires, no matter what their resources are—or lack thereof. We small business owners have to use the resources we have and learn to develop the results we want.

I will continue to strive for better quality in recording vlog entries. Practice makes perfect! Besides, the average person can’t afford to buy expensive video software or hire a videographer, every time she wants to post a video or share information, especially in this economy.


I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Wellness Wednesday: The Value of Kids’ Meals

I hope you had a chance to read my last WW posting, “Back on the Grind”. One way I keep my calorie count at my desired level is by eating kids’ meals, when I eat fast food. You will be amazed at how filling those portions can be!

As an independent consultant, speaker, and trainer, I spend quite a bit of time on my feet, unable to eat or snack, working with teachers, parents, legislators, and administrators. When I get done with my events and activities, I am sometimes starving, especially when the event does not include a meal. Also, for some reason, every time I finish teaching classes at the university, I feel the need to stop and grab a bite, via a drive-thru window, on my way home.

My 3 top-favorite kids’ meals are:

1.      Chick-fil-A’s New Grilled Chicken Nuggets

2.      Chick-fil-A’s Chicken Nuggets

3.      Wendy’s Jr. Chicken Nuggets

The good thing about going to Chick-fil-A and Wendy’s is that I know I am getting real chicken!

What’s your favorite kids’ meal(s)?

On “Wellness Wednesdays”, we discuss ways to live healthy lives, not just diet. We post a topic each week. Topics include nutrition, exercise tips, skin care, oral care, hair care and so much more! If you are a physician or an experienced wellness professional, we welcome you to submit a guest posting at info@drbisa.com.

My ultimate goal for “Wellness Wednesdays” is to support my fellow man in being healthy on the inside and out – holistically; because, if you’re ugly on the inside, you’re ugly on the outside.

 

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

2012 State of the Union Reflections: Reviving the American Dream

I almost fell off my bed, when President Obama mentioned improving and increasing Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) training programs, during tonight’s State of the Union Address! While he made many great points and shared impressive facts and data, I was most excited about those related to education and workforce preparation. Too many Americans are under-educated and out of work!

My friends and associates who have amazing salaries and job security primarily work in STEM careers. The rest of us, who live fairly comfortably, are well-educated and/or own our own businesses. The Obama Administration recognizes that, in order to experience the “American dream”, people need to be properly educated, prepared for work, and supported in business. It’s high time for QUALITY to be the focus of education and workforce preparation, instead of quantity—money and student enrollment. If ‘the system’ would stop treating education like it’s a business, more children would be prepared to graduate from high school and more adults would complete college.

All of the policy reformations President Obama proposed will increase the success of high school students, the workforce, and small business owners. As voters, we must demand that our legislators move forward with our President’s request: “Send me a bill…”

Maximize your voting power and encourage others to do the same! Rock the vote to revive the American Dream! If legislators don’t send or support the right bill, I’m not sending my vote—not for them anyway!


I’M JUST SAYIN’!

We Likes ta Partay

I am blessed to have great friends and neighbors! When I moved my family to Atlanta in 2008, I had all types of networking events and joined diverse social committees, in an effort to connect with the right people. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding… Mission accomplished!

My friends and I love to throw a party and will plan a gathering for any minor reason. Recently, when my boys went back to brick and mortar school, after being homeschooled, I held a spaghetti dinner at my home for our friends and their families. While the adults cackled in the dining room, the children and teens shared advice with my sons on how to positively adapt to the school environment. Everyone had a ball!

I love to cook, just as much as I love to party, so we always have great attendance. Pretty much everyone who RSVPs shows up. I’m not sure if they come for my cookin’ or to hang out with me and my boys. Hmmmm! Probably a balance of the two, so it’s cool with me!

My friends range from stay-at-home moms, or as my girlfriend’s husband calls her “Household Manager”, to successful professionals and entrepreneurs. However, our biggest rule when we get together is “leave your degrees at the door”. We don’t want to talk about business, status or find out who makes the most money. We just wanna eat, laugh, dance, and have a good time! And usually in that exact order. 

Isabelle's (center) Birthday Party at my home

Theme: "Atlantafied" - High Glam

You might find the adults in the living room doing line dances, in the family room dancing to the Michael Jackson Experience on the Wii, or huddled up sharing opinions on light topics. As long as it’s not work-related or political, we don’t care and all engage! The children go upstairs and play games, then come down to the kitchen to eat at-will. The whole family comes and has a genuine good time.

My friends and I have at least one house party or gathering every month and go out to eat at least once per week. What do you and your friends do to just ‘chill’?

It’s important for us parents to let our ‘hair’ down and enjoy life. I don’t want to be “Dr. Bisa” all the time. You know what they say about people who are all work and no play…

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Man-up Monday: Shining Light on Historical Black Men

Welcome to Man-up Monday!

Yesterday, my sons and our friends went to see “Red Tails” at the movies. There were 10 of us. It was important to make our numbers count at the Box Office this weekend. We were proud to learn that most of our close friends and neighbors did the same. If you heard the story of what Producer George Lucas went through over the last 20 years to make this movie happen, you know why. I was so happy to read, this morning, that the movie was #2 at the Box Office scoring a whopping $19.1 million. Lucas hoped for at least $20 million during opening weekend, so we were mighty close.

“Red Tails” was so touching! I must say that movies like this validate how strong African-American men are and can be.  I wish more would take their rightful places as strong, skillful leaders. My heart drops when I see our teen boys and young men dropping out of school, hanging out on the corner, drinking, smoking, hustlin’, or just doing nothing. Many times, I see these activities take place in the immediate vicinity of postsecondary institutions. Too many people fought and died to allow us equal rights for us not to take advantage of them. While we have had some great leaders throughout history, I feel concerned about leaders of today and tomorrow.  Are they willing to go the distance, like our ancestors and historical leaders? The way we are rearing our children today, especially boys, makes me wonder how our future will look.

“Red Tails” exemplifies the strength of black men. They actually WANTED to fly, work, and serve their country! Do our young men of today have the same or even similar work ethics? Or, are they primarily concerned about money? We black parents need to step back to take a look at how we are raising our boys and do better. No matter how much education WE get or money WE make, our children’s futures are not secured. We must teach our boys to ‘fish’, so THEY can experience success and serve their communities!
 

I often tell my sons that no one wants to hire or marry a lazy man. If we don’t prepare our boys to be responsible men, who will? Wake up and get on your jobs! Parenting is the most important career any of us will ever have. The future of our world depends on what we do NOW!

Shouts to historical black men! We wish more men were like you!

 

I invite readers to submit a “Man-up Mondays” posting by sharing how the man in your life (significant other, father, brother, friend, co-worker…) is manning-up. Email your “Man-up Mondays” entry of 500 words or less to info@drbisa.com. Attaching his photo to the email is optional. You do NOT have to mention his full name. His first name or an alias is fine and understood.

Maybe these postings will cause men who are slackers to man-up, so women won’t have to.

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Wellness Wednesday: Back on the Grind

I hope you had a chance to read my last WW posting, “What’s up with your Emotions”. Some of y’all are carrying around some serious emotional baggage! Let’s clean it up! This week, I thought I’d take a stab at encouraging you to get back on your health and fitness grind. The holidays are over! Thank God!

I don’t know about you, but I gained four pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day! In a six-week period, I lost my mind indulging in all the tasty breads, dressings, desserts, and drinks. I even ate a little ‘oink-oink’. And, y’all know I don’t usually touch pork or beef! I was so happy about the 17 pounds I had lost that I thought I had room to play. I guess I played wrong and much too long!

 

How do I plan to lose the four holiday pounds I gained and get back on my health and fitness grind? I’m going to take my own advice and start back:

·         Tracking Fitness & Nutrition

·         Dining Out with Discipline

·         Eating Low-calorie Snacks

If you are an indulging social butterfly like me, I encourage you to do the same!

 

Did you gain weight over the holidays? How do you plan to get it off?

On “Wellness Wednesdays”, we discuss ways to live healthy lives, not just diet. We post a topic each week. Topics include nutrition, exercise tips, skin care, oral care, hair care and so much more! If you are a physician or an experienced wellness professional, we welcome you to submit a guest posting at info@drbisa.com.

My ultimate goal for “Wellness Wednesdays” is to support my fellow man in being healthy on the inside and out – holistically; because, if you’re ugly on the inside, you’re ugly on the outside.

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Honoring Dr. King: A Doctor, too, Because of You

I know I wrote an earlier post “Shining Light on Dr. King”, this morning; however, I was just sitting here thinking of the endless opportunities I have been afforded, due to all his efforts, speeches, marches, challenges, meetings, sacrifices, family…

Attending an HBCU was great! I love Albany State University! However, if it were not for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I would not have been able to even apply to the University of Georgia (UGA), let alone be accepted earning a quality education and doctoral degree. Natives of Athens, Georgia, where UGA is located, share that for decades, African Americans who lived in the Athens area never thought they could attend the institution and, therefore, didn’t even aspire to or try. Those stories brought me to tears and explain why, when I go there to train teachers or present at conferences, there are few African Americans at school-age level seminars, but many at preschool seminars. Many don’t have college degrees and were raised to feel that they could not and would not be able to earn one at the institution right in their own backyard.

Another astounding statistic is that Clarke County, the county in which Athens sits, has been ranked the poorest county in Georgia for several years. How is it that the city in which Georgia’s flagship institution sits is the poorest of all the counties in the entire state? Something is terribly wrong!

When I interviewed for the doctoral program at UGA, there were 68 applicants, but only 25 slots available. I brought all of my publications—articles, books, etc. to the face-to-face interview with the selection committee to show that I was willing and able to complete a doctoral program at such a prestigious research institution. Out of 25 students accepted in our cohort, five were African American—four females and one male. I did everything in my power to support the one African American male in completing the program. I knew they were conducting a study on us and didn’t want the data to show that 100% of the African American males dropped out.  Not under my watch! Although we all had trials and tribulations, all five of us completed the program!

I did not, and still do not, take such opportunities for granted! While enrolled at UGA, I drove three and a half hours for three and a half years to complete coursework, attended EVERY class, and earned all As and 1 B during the 10 consecutive semesters. My education and experiences collectively enabled me to earn a premiere education and have endless career opportunities!


Thank you, Dr. King! I know you would be proud! UGA really is all it’s ‘cracked-up’ to be. I earned a remarkable education there and have become a consummate professional. But, I would’ve never known the feeling or achieved this status, if it were not for you! Your life, sacrifices, and death were not in vain. Your ‘dash’ made a significant difference. And, that’s an understatement!

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Man-up Monday: Shining Light on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Welcome to Man-up Monday!

Today is a national holiday in recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday. If Dr. King wasn’t a ‘good’ man, I don’t know who is! Happy 83rd Birthday, Dr. King!

 

My sons had a 10 year-old friend sleep over last night. I made homemade smoothies today and asked them two questions, after we all said “Happy Birthday, Dr. King”:

1.      How did Dr. King make the world different for us today?

2.      How can we continue Dr. King’s legacy?

I was very pleased and impressed with their answers. They shared some of the privileges, changes and alliances that came to fruition due to the work of Dr. King—minimum wage, equal opportunities, a day of equality (his birthday as a national holiday), taxes, school and work experiences. These dudes were really listening in history class and to their parents!

To continue the legacy of Dr. King’s “dream”, I serve as a model for my sons, SHOWING them how to sprinkle ‘salt’ and ENGAGING them in community activities and service learning. Who knows—God may purpose one of them to be the next generation’s ray of hope!

Volunteering at Hosea Feed the Hungry & Homeless

I am the exact same age Dr. King was when he was assassinated in our neighboring state of Tennessee in 1968. I am neither young nor old, but at a vibrant juncture where I feel confident that I can do anything I put my mind to and deserve all my heart desires. Life is not just about me, but about my 'dash'. I can’t help but wonder if that’s where Dr. King was in his life, as well. His work, travels, activities, challenges, and triumphs make me feel that he was.

 

Shouts to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.! We wish more men were like you!

This is my favorite King song, because it not only shares all he did, but what WE should do to continue his legacy! My sons and I watch this video to remember Dr. King!

Although Dr. King’s actual day of birth is January 15, yesterday, the country celebrates it every third Monday in January. I try to celebrate his work and carry on his dream all year! What about you—are you relaxing and enjoying the holiday or doing something for Martin?

I invite readers to submit a “Man-up Mondays” posting by sharing how the man in your life (significant other, father, brother, friend, co-worker…) is manning-up. Email your “Man-up Mondays” entry of 500 words or less to info@drbisa.com. Attaching his photo to the email is optional. You do NOT have to mention his full name. His first name or an alias is fine and understood.

Maybe these postings will cause men who are slackers to man-up, so women won’t have to.

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Early Childhood Education: Endless Career Opportunities

In “Undergrad Reflections: The Power of an HBCU”, I share challenges of deciding on a college major and how my professors, mentors, and colleagues at Albany State University invested their time and energy to lead me in the right direction. I am so thankful for them and extremely blessed to have attended and worked at an HBCU early in my adult life. The experiences really mattered!

Many of my mentors are powerful executives and community leaders. They have coached me to follow in their footsteps, which is why I chose the doctoral program in college leadership at the University of Georgia. Yes, I was actually trained to be a college president. I chose the path of self-employment through entrepreneurship, while raising my sons, but remain on the path to college leadership. My B.S. and M.Ed. degrees in early childhood education (ECE) have opened many doors affording numerous opportunities to advocate for our youngest citizens and pay the bills, too. Let’s be honest; that’s important!

I have done so much in my ECE career and continue to find excitement in what I do. I feel confident and well-trained in my endeavors.

My favorite professional activities are:

·         Writing articles and books

·         Conducting training for pre-service teachers, administrators, educators and parents

·         Presenting workshops and seminars at conferences

·         Teaching college courses

·         Consulting with toy companies and mass media

·         Coaching early learning programs to improve quality or achieve national accreditation

There are many different paths an early childhood educator can choose. When asked about opportunities in the ECE field, I often share this ECE Career Choices resource. I love to demonstrate how diverse our career opportunities can be. Just think about it: Children are, and will always be, everywhere! Any organization or company that serves families or develops products for children can benefit from the expertise of an ECE professional.

Every person with an interest in education isn’t meant to be a teacher, but can still contribute to the profession.

Don't limit yourself! Teaching is awesome, but there is so much more!

 
I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Being Proactive vs. Reactive about your Child’s Education

As my 5^th grader prepares for middle school and my 8^th grader for high school, I decided to transition both my sons from home-based public school to brick and mortar public school during second semester, which started last week after the holiday break. This next four months is a test period to see if public school is a ‘go’ or not for next school term.

In “If Not You, then Who: Inspiring Success at Home”, I offered tips for parents who choose to educate their children outside of the home. One of my tips was to “schedule a conference with your child’s teacher(s) during the first 4 weeks of school to discuss expectations ON BOTH SIDES –home (parents) and school (teachers)”. Upon enrolling my sons back into brick and mortar public school last week, I requested conferences with their teachers. Here is the email message I sent to my 5^th grader’s teacher, who was out last week.

Greetings, [Teacher],

Welcome back! My son Jordan started in your class last week. I would like to have a brief sit-down conference with you, just for an orientation to your classroom and procedures. At that time, I will share with you Jordan's CRCT scores, portfolio assessments, and other information from his previous school. I know it may take a moment for his records to arrive, so I can share with you what I have. Please let me know the best date and time to meet. I am available during the day or immediately after school. I look forward to hearing from you.

Upon enrolling my 8^th grader, I shared with the guidance counselor my request to meet with his grade group, so I can gain an understanding of their methods and procedures. We met today. I must say that I am pleased with the overall team and glad I was able to share with them my son’s previous assessment scores and abilities. That way, they have appropriate expectations of him and his work. I went into the conference with two primary questions and suggest parents of newly enrolled students do the same.

1.    What is the best way for me to stay informed with homework and due dates for your class?

2.    What extra-curricular activities are available that he can sign up for at this point?

The teachers shared with me the Homework Hotline, 8^th grade team webpage, and other online resources they use to keep parents updated. His history teacher even has a class website and a Twitter page, which he updates regularly. Way cool!  Following the conference, I retrieved each of my son’s teacher’s email addresses from the school’s faculty page and sent the following message to them copying the school’s guidance counselor, who set up the team conference on my behalf:

Greetings [Guidance Counselor] and Team 8B,

I just wanted to send a message to say thank you for meeting with me today for an orientation to your course procedures. You are a great group of educators! Please save my email address, in case you should need to contact me for any reason. My cell # is [cell number] and is the best method of immediate/emergency contact, when necessary. Otherwise, email is just fine. I check it several times per day. Please know that you have my full support on ensuring Cameron has a successful 8th grade 2nd semester. Thanks again!

Although both of my sons are honor roll students—in any type of school setting, I felt it necessary to simply connect with their new teachers to make sure we are on the same page with our expectations and method(s) of communication.

Meeting with your child’s teachers face-to-face, early on, allows you to be proactive versus reactive in supporting your child’s education. Don’t wait until your child misses an assignment or does something wrong at school to initiate contact. Schedule a conference to establish a positive parent-teacher relationship from the jump. Give YOURSELF the opportunity to be a good parent!

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Wellness Wednesday: What’s up with your Emotions?

It’s a new year! Anyone still carrying emotional baggage from last year is under virtual arrest—BY ME! I told you in my New Year posting how I plan to stay cleansed and focused in 2012. I ain’t gon’ let nobody turn me ‘round or run me down! As you are setting new-year goals, don’t forget about your emotional well-being!

As I was researching ways to seek and maintain emotional balance, I ran across this great website by University of California at Riverside on emotional wellness. You can even take a quiz to assess your own emotional wellness and join their wellness mailing list. It’s a very practical website offering easily applicable information for anyone to use.

On a lighter note, some of the things I do to maintain emotional wellness are:

·         Put God first and primarily focus on pleasing Him.

·         Balance priorities with faith first, family second, and career third.

·         Exercise regularly.

·         Watch what I put in my body. We really ARE what we eat and feel like it, too!

·         Schedule adult time 1-2 times per week.

·         Ensure my children go to bed on-time (9:00 PM on weekdays and 11:00 PM on weekends).

·         Surround myself with positive, like-minded people.

·         Get regular full-body massages.

·         DO NOT WORRY!

Strive to keep a positive outlook on life, no matter what! After all, we are just visitors here on this earth. We need to stop getting so comfortable with people, places, conditions and things, as if they are ours to keep forever! We allow other people and our temporary circumstances to determine our fate. These acts cause damage to our bodies leaving internal scars that no one can see, but you can surely feel.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

During the short time we are here, let’s figure out the best use of God’s time and how we can allow Him to work through us. It’s hard to do God’s work in a jacked-up temple! Let’s pull ourselves together, people! THIS STUFF DON’T BELONG TO YOU!

On “Wellness Wednesdays”, we discuss ways to live healthy lives, not just diet. We post a topic each week. Topics include nutrition, exercise tips, skin care, oral care, hair care and so much more! If you are a physician or an experienced wellness professional, we welcome you to submit a guest posting at info@drbisa.com.

My ultimate goal for “Wellness Wednesdays” is to support my fellow man in being healthy on the inside and out – holistically; because, if you’re ugly on the inside, you’re ugly on the outside.

I’M JUST SAYIN’!

Man-up Monday: Shining Light on Brother Patrick

I am pleased to support Carolyn James by shining light on her brother, Patrick, who she considers a ‘good’ man. 

Carolyn writes:

Good Afternoon Dr. Bisa,

This morning, I thanked God for my older brother, Pat. He stopped by and prepared breakfast. We sat in the kitchen together giving God Glory for all the Great Things He has done. God had brought us through many dangers seen & unseen—turned both our lives around SUDDENLY. He said this morning, "it is what it is & it WAS what it WAS Sis", there is none Greater than God. We had just listened to the 'Foot Prints in the Sand' short story. He Blessed me and we both Blessed God together as we ate grits! I Man-Up my Big Brother Patrick cause He always Lift Up Jesus & gives God Glory as being the Greatest! Would like to dedicate Vanessa Bell Armstrong’s “He did it Suddenly" just for him, cause he sees God’s handiwork.

Thanks Dr. Bisa! I enjoy your work.

Shouts to Patrick! We wish more men were like you! Here’s the song you requested for Pat, Carolyn! Listening to it truly blessed my spirit!

 

I invite readers to submit a “Man-up Mondays” posting by sharing how the man in your life (significant other, father, brother, friend, co-worker…) is manning-up. Email your “Man-up Mondays” entry of 500 words or less to info@drbisa.com. Attaching his photo to the email is optional. You do NOT have to mention his full name. His first name or an alias is fine and understood.

Maybe these postings will cause men who are slackers to man-up, so women won’t have to.

 
I’M JUST SAYIN’!